About

My entire life has been about the pursuit and practice of magick, the law of assumption and attraction, manifestation, healing, Buddhism and awakening. It's been an amazing journey that I now am trying to share, but it wasn't always easy.

I was born in the UK to refugee parents. My childhood was abusive and unhappy. My interest in these subjects began with an occult magazine I started reading when I was around ten (as I lived in a newsagents). A couple of years later I disobeyed my catholic aunt and sneaked into town to enter the forbidden local occult shop. As soon as I walked in, with the scents, robes, incenses, Western and eastern esoteric books, statues, tarot cards, crystal balls – I knew my life would be about this.

In my early teens, due to situations I'm not going into, I ended up agoraphobic and out of the school system, trapped in one room in a house. I stayed in alone bar weekly cleaner visits, with nothing but mail order books, about all the subjects I gave my life to, magick, occult, manifestation, both Eastern and Western philosophies and practices of awakening. I stayed there in that one room, until my late teens.

I became fully versed in all subjects of personal development, healing, magick as I had nothing else. I was completely obsessed. Once I understood the principles of manifestation, as I had (and have) magickal leanings, I devised a piece of 'life magick', a ritual that consisted of a daily practice, making a 'spirit house' of all my desires, with little models I made in coloured clay.

I had nothing at the time, no job, friends, money, I was too painfully shy to open the curtains, let alone talk to people and sign on for welfare. I created all the things I wanted. I took pictures. I wanted money, to travel the world, to meet my soul mate, to get a degree, to be able to astrally project at will, to be very slim. Some of the ritual was based on poppet magick and I stitched two dolls, one for me and one for my soulmate, and kept the little models of my desires with them.

Each full moon I would tie a ribbon to bind them closer together. There was an associated ritual I performed on new and full moons. The idea was that at the end of the magick (even though at the start of the magick I couldn't even leave the house) – at the end I would sew up the magick in a silk bag, go to London, throw the bag in the serpentine (a lake in a London park I'd researched on a map) and start my new life.

It worked. A few months into the ritual, an old school friend turned up out of the blue. I told him about my issues and he started coming to visit me. He got me out and I was able to visit my Aunt. Back then most people had over-prescribed tranquilizers so she gave me about thirty and that calmed me (I used to constantly tremble because of social phobia). I got to the doctor and got a hundred of my own.

My friend loved music and he wanted to go to a concert. I volunteered in a local charity shop and got even more confident (I was so doped up on tranquilizers the first day I had to be basically carried in). By the time the concert came I was well enough and went to the legendary 1993 Reading Festival where Nirvanah played (yes, I'm old now).

I applied for welfare, started studying in college, hated Britain. I had a room packed full of rare occult paraphernalia that, by then, was worth a lot of money. I sold it all, bought a course teaching people how to teach English as a foreign language, bought a ticket to Bangkok, and stayed away from Europe for over a decade.

All my 'life magick' came true. ... But some of it went wrong. Over thirty five years I travelled (over sixty countries), found, loved and lost my soul mate (Japanese), then had to do another piece of long magick and manifestation to heal the limerance and obsession. At one point I lost over twenty kilos and twice have been affected by an eating disorder.

I found out I have a genetic disorder that affects my muscles, I have mobility issues and use manifestation to keep myself alive and as well as is possible. I managed to obtain a UK degree with honours (psychology) and a PGCert. I've self published over ten books. I found my home in Cambodia. I've become a local public speaker and comedian and in my mind (and I apologise if it is hubris) I feel that I've made progress towards the ultimate point of life. I have never stopped this spiritual path of trying to both obtain my desires using manifestation, magick, meditation and all the tools I was originally interested in, but fine-tuning 'life magick', i.e. manifestation as a way of life and spiritual path to full awakening (I spent some time living in a Zen monastery).

I feel that I have made enough progress and that my practice is individual, unique and effective enough, that I should try and share it. Which is what I'm doing now. Ironically, I don't teach materialism, but more the kind of minimalism that I have lived, traveling light, in terms of possessions, but also identity, emotions, relationships. I was always a minimalist at the core.

My life changed a lot over covid. I stayed in Cambodia and made a lot of new local friends. I had a kind of spiritual awakening. I'd say I'm an athiest/Buddhist/Occultist/New agey type but I read a lot about the law of assumption and read a Buddhist book called The Path of Desire that hugely enriched my practice and understanding.

I still live in Cambodia. I'm older, uglier and still going, Never been happier, not perfect and not always right, but I feel I'm getting signs that the time has come to step out of the shadows once more and share the fruits of my journey.